First — we share initials. Even if I change my last name to Jesse’s, we’ll still share initials. Blah. (This is the least of my worries, but I noticed it and it irritates me further.)
Second — I’m NOT having a Martha Stewartish wedding, but she’s built up expectations for so many people I’m certain our wedding will be a big disappoint to our guests. Stupid woman.
Third — Does ANYONE really CARE how the ADDRESSES look on ENVELOPES that are going to be THROWN AWAY?! We don’t have inner envelopes! What does that mean? Is it something sexual? Is it like an inner goddess? (yep…that’s a 50 Shades reference — can’t escape it even if you didn’t like it.) Does the name order really matter? Dude first, lady first? Kids, I don’t care. If you bring your kids, they better behave or I’ll throw something at them. Simple as that, you know? And calligraphy, seriously? Can the postperson even READ calligraphy?! Just another way to convince me that I need to spend even more money.
Fourth — Wedding favors? Isn’t it enough that I’m feeding everyone? Do I really need to buy stupid chotchkies that NO ONE will ever use again to give to our guests?! Apparently I do because Martha Stewart and the WEDDING INDUSTRY says I do. We’re letting corporate American plan our weddings these days, ya’ll! WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?!
Seriously…this wedding industry crap makes me feel like a bad woman because I don’t want all the centerpieces and favors and fancy cakes and junk. I want a dress and pretty hair and to be married to the most amazing man on the planet. But instead of focusing on the fun party aspect, I’m stressing about not being GOOD ENOUGH and being judged by people that we’re INVITING TO SHARE OUR GLORIOUS DAY!
I’m very stressed about all of this. I’ve been having wedding-related dreams/nightmares.
I didn’t think this would happen, but it is. Thank the universe for sites like the frugalbride that pretty much say do whatever you want. It makes me feel just a smidge better.
Oh…and our Justice of the Peace cancelled because his freakin’ nephew is getting married the same day. The good news is that he’s nice and is trying to find us a different judge. I called him this morning…no other judge yet. Crap.